Bad TP sticks out in my mind!

So, last year for Mother's Day Chris' mom gave me a gift card to Renew Day spa to have a day of pampering. I was able to choose from a list of things what I wanted to have done. And since I'm pregnant that list got shorter because you're not allowed to do certain things as a preg. So, I ended up getting a massage and a facial yesterday (since my wonderful husband made the appointment for me, knowing I would never get to it). A little late I know, but the gift card expired next month and better late than never right? So, before I went to do that, my friend Jessica cut/colored my hair for me. (For those of you that don't remember I tried to go dark and still like being blonde better) She did a fabulous job. I left her house looking beautfil, went home, grabbed some lunch, and was off to my pamper appointment. I got there and signed in, waited a little bit, then they called me back to a changing room where they supply you with a rob, a wrap, and slippers. So COMFY!!! Then they escort you to another room for you to "relax" for a minute. When really, they're just making you wait some more. So in this room, there is a water fountain constantly flowing, making this Preg have to go pee pee on the potty, and there is also a wind chime that has a fan that turns on periodically to make the wind chimes chime. The chiming is not so relaxing but it's a good try! Finally, after listening to the river flowing and the chiming someone comes to get me. MASSAGE TIME!!!!!! The massage was great...for the most part. I am however bruised in three places where I guess she felt needed attention (I would consider this deep tissue which I didn't think they were supposed to do knowing I was preg?!). OUCH! But overall satisfying! Then they take me back to the "relaxing room" and I wait, not sure if I'm supposed to just sit there or not. Then another lady comes...FACIAL TIME!!!! I just now started thinking to myself..."This might not be quite as relaxing as I thought. What exactly is involved with getting a facial?" Oh dear, the room looks like a dentist office. Fear comes over me and thoughts of the relaxing room have left my mind. This does not look relaxing in the slightest, what have I signed up for here? So, I lay there...more waiting. Then she talks over with me the process, "It will be slightly uncomfortable but not hurting," she explained with her Polish accent. Now, when you here "slightly uncomfortable" what does that make you think of? Squirmy. That's what it makes me think. Enough to make you squirm but not enough to make you scream. First she put this "exfoliator" on my face, but it didn't have the little beady things in it. She put it on my face and turned on this steamer that blows steam onto your face. "It is going to start to tingle, you feel the tingly?" again in her Polish accent. "Oh, yeah, I feel the tingle." TINGLE?!?! More like BURNING! YOWZA! Then she took it off and put a warm wet cloth over my face...relief! Then, the real pain. She removes the towel, puts something cool over my eyes, turns on a light from heaven (so bright I wouldn't even imagine opening my lids!), and starts pinching and scraping and squeezing. Inside I'm screaming. It's making my eyes water (luckily I still have whatever it is she put over my eyes). Done with the torture and again with relief. She rubs some kind of moisturizer over my face which smell delightful! Then the mask. Which was interestingly awesome! Somewhere in there she gave me a hand massage, I think it was when I was feeling the burning which is why I wasn't so focused on the massage. So, in the end...my skin feels smooth. She starts walking me back to my room and ask if I need to use the restroom. I'm pregnant, what do you think? Yes! So fancy with the custom paper towels to dry your hands. I'm so impressed with this place. But then, the toilet paper. What's with the toilet paper?! It is worse than the kind you would find in the McDonalds bathroom! Here I am, at some expensive spa, and they have worse than McDonalds toilet paper. You would think that they would worry about my bottom relaxing as well as the rest of me. But no, they obviously forgot about the all important, most crucial thing...good toilet paper.

This blog will not suck, this blog will not suck, this...

I have this fear that my bloggin skills will not meet the level of talent some of the others in my family have. I am so nervous right now, it's not even funny. If it seems this blog is jumping from topic to topic, its because I am "earling"** my guts out from nerves.

Let me start off with an explination:
1. This blogging junk doesn't have spell check, or the little green swiggly that informs you the sentence you just typed makes no sence.
2. I am not the worlds best speller, or am I very articulate.
3. Puncuation is not my forte
4. I start off rather strong, but get very lazy at the end and stop capitalizing things.
<'}}}}>< -- -

Above is a swimming fish. I think its cute and hate you all for not thinking so.

I am a firefighter^^ in cherokeee county. Its a booming county. (if you speak spanish, or want to buy a home for 34billion dollars.) Its the first job that I enjoy waking up for. I work 24 hours on, and then have 48 hours off. Thats a pretty common schedule for this type of job. Its actually called the "kelly schedule". That might be a triva question somewhere one day. If it is, you owe me. I am in paramedic school where i am learning different ways to not kill people. I say it this way because its true. We learn things to keep you alive, and not kill you. It is rather informitive. My life consists of work, drug cards, few moments with my beautiful, and sleep.

I have no hobbies... that sounds depressing doesn't it? I enjoy many things, but just have no time, money, or equipment to do those things. If the world was perfect and I had all the money in it, here is what I would do;
-I am addicted to tattoos. If I could sit in a chair all day and have someone stick me with a needle over and over again I would. Its not the pain I am into really, its the smell. Its hard to explain and trying to makes me sound a little psyco.
-I wish I had a mountain bike. I love to be aggressive off-road. I still think I am a 17 year old kid. I am pushing 30. I break now.
-I am still a huge fan of rock climbing. I wish I still lived in the mountains. When I was there, I was on a rockface 3 days out of the week. I looked great.
-I like photography. It runs in my family. I have two uncles who are very talented photographers and artists.
-I want to be a cage fighter. really, i just want intro music. I want to walk in a room with loud music, pyrotechnics, and guys pushing people out of the way.
-I say it all the time, but I kinda want to hit something in the face with a shovel. I think it would make a pretty funny noise.
hmmm... those last two things make me seem really violent. I weight 140lbs. I don't do violent.
-I want to jump out of planes. Not tandom, thats not as fun. Solo.

Thats about all the nonsence I can come up with about me for now.

My Blogs.
My blogs are going to consist of the "lighter side" of Emergency Medical Services (refered to as EMS from now on) and things I think are funny.
Love you guys, and hope you have not pulled your eyeballs from your head and put them in the toaster, thats gonna make it hard to read the rest of my rants.



** "earling"- The word Puke is a fopa.

^^ "firefighter" - a word often used to describe a professional video game player.




PS- this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

The picture that I never posted...

Here are the pictures from making the frog cake that I promised I would put up and never did...

I got a turkey...twice

So, not too long ago Christopher and I went to Nashville to visit some friends and decided to go bowling at the local hot spot. I've always enjoyed bowling but have never been extremely good at it; although, I can hold my own! With the usual, "I'm ready to kick some booty" attitude (even though I know I will not win) we began our friendly game of bowling. Girls against boys (as if that is EVER fair). The boys quickly realized, I was in it to win it! Never in my life have I gotten three strikes in a row...until I was pregnant in Nashville!

That's right, I got a Turkey the first game. And then the second game. I was on fire. Two turkies in one day. Amazing. The old man that was bowling a few lanes down came over and talked to me about me SKILLZ!!!! He said he was in the top 7 bowlers that frequented those lanes. Might I brag for a minute and say that his score was not far off from mine! Either this baby is going to be a bowler or I've just realized what profession I should look into! (Let me explain the pictures:The bowling balls I just thought were pretty. The Turkey, well, of course that's the proof that I did get them. The old man is the one that thought I was a prodigy. And the last one is me and Christopher with our friends. Good times are always to be had in Nashville!

Deep and Wide

So, as I'm sure most of the folks living in Georgia heard about the crazy storms that went through yesterday and hit Canton about a million times. You might not know about our very own wading pool we got blessed with. So let me enlighten you. We came home after the news made it seem as though the city of Canton had been wiped off the map, to find sunny skies, a river running throught our yard/driveway, and a wading pool in the basement. Luckily the house was still standing with no real damage and rock band (which all of you will be glad to know) is okay. The box, however, did not have the same fate. May it rest in peace in the local landfill. So, we're just about tired of having water flowing, abundantly I might add, through our yard and seeping into the garage. We pondered for a moment about what to do since sweeping the water out was clearly not working. The water was coming in faster than we could get it out. Chris, my genius of a husband, decided to build a trench in the front yard, which I'm sure the neighborhood kids will be trying to catch crawfish in it in just a few days. The purpose of the trench you ask. Well, to take the water away from the house of course. It took the water away alright.

The basement is now, for the most part, dry. In the end we're left with an empty trench in the front yard (surely this is a safety hazard), a basement that will still leak, mud across our driveway, and a blog-worthy moment (at least I think so). So, if anyone wants to come fix our problem because you just feel like it, come on over. If you just feel like coming over that's fine too but watch your step, the trench is deep!

God's promise that He won't flood the earth again. He never said anything about my basement!

It's a...

For those of you that don't know yet, we are expecting baby #2! You know what everyone does when they find out your pregnant? They quickly receive the gift of prophecy and tell you what you're going to have. "It's going to be a boy! You're already showing!," thank you for calling me a beached whale in the nicest way possible "Oh, Katie, it's going to be a girl I just know it! You've been sick and you're hair has gotten slightly darker." Well, thank you for the insight but I tried dying my hair dark and I was sick with Griffin too, and I'm pretty sure he has a wee wee so, I'm not going to trust your "prophecy" and paint the nursery yet. However, I will trust the monitor showing the somewhat shaped like a baby image. "Do you want to know what you're having?," the nurse asked Christopher and I as she put the oh so cold jelly on my belly. "Yes, we do!"

"It's a Girl!"

she said the second she saw the image, without hesitation. Wow, now that was instant results right there!!!! So, there you have it. Chris feels as though he is officially ruinned and I'm still feeling a bit vomitous with a side of heartburn. As for the name--her first name will be Taylor and the middle name is still up in the air. So you can vote if you'd like. Taylor Morgan or Taylor Madeline. Help the Hookers decide the fate of the next Hooker female.

Operation Cake

So, here it is Sunday night. I'm home alone, exhausted, and blogging. We have had a successful weekend if I do say so myself. First let me explain the title for those of you that are reading this but aren't really all that involved with our day to day.

Operation cake began on Thursday with the start of an adventure I was sure I could tackle. I decided I was going to make Griffin's birthday cake all by myself and it was going to look good or I was a failure as a mother. So, Thursday I baked the cake because the cake I was planning on using takes some crazy amount of time to not only bake but cool (which if you don't know the cooling process is KEY!). So, the cake got baked on Thursday and cooled all the way until Friday (not that it really needed that long but that's how long it had). So, Friday is here, I just got off work, and now it means business. If I was going to do this cake thing right I had to do it all the way which means also making my own icing from scratch, which I have never done before without a mother close by keeping an eye, aka making it for me. So, I get out the recipe and I start making some icing, using my husband as my taste tester. I got it tasting right and added the food coloring to make it look a bright St. Patrick's day green. "AWESOME," I thought, "this is going just as I planned. Right on schedule! Where are those cake decorating doowops I bought from the store? Hmmm, searching...aha! That only took me 20 minutes...getting a little off schedule here but I'll make it up, where is my husband? He can make some more icing!" (That was all in my head I don't talk to myself...that much. So, now I'm decorating and Chris (the amazing supportive husband) is making some icing for the yellow parts of the frog. Oh, yes, I made a frog cake, but not just any frog cake...oh you'll see the pictures! While Chris was making the icing he points out to me that I made the icing wrong the first go wrong because I was in such a hurry I used 1 tablesppon of vanilla instead of 1 teaspon, whoops! Oh well! Now, I'm icing the cake and I'm in a groove and I'm moving! RING RING, the phone, grrr, it caused me to jump and now there is an imperfection in said cake. Oh well, I'm the only one that will notice! It's Chris' family. There here, in town, which means we're leaving to go have dinner. Oh man, it's 7:00. No problem, we'll get it all done...TONIGHT! We go eat; we come back; we put Griffin to bed...at 10:00. Now I'm really off schedule. That was a major set back, but you gotta eat I suppose. "Back to work honey, no time for goofing off. Could you grab that other icing bag and start filling in the yellow please?" Blank stare from the now not so sure what to say husband. "You want me to decorate the cake? The front of the cake? Where everyone can see?" Oh, man is he really asking me this now? "Yes dear, you'll do great!" That's right Chris is now a cake decorating pro for all of those that give him a hard time about being a hair model now you can add this to your list of metro things Chris can/could/would do. We got the green, the yellow, the white, and the black icing all done after only busting one icing bag. We are finished! Not too bad. Haha, but you should see my hands. I'm either turning into the Hulk or the Jolly Green Giant whichever character you desire. Look at the clock...oh dear...midnight, I'm getting really old because I would normally be in bed NO later than 9:30. Now all I can think about is my 7:00 AM wake up call that's sleeping upstairs. Lights out and I'm asleep, just like that, almost instantaneously (pretty sure I didn't spell that right!). 7:00 Am just like I thought, I'm up, Chris is up, Griffin's up and we're onto the count down until Griff's party. Now, I have to make chicken salad. Where's my amazing husband to help me again. Enter husband, "What stinks in here? It smells like tuna." hahahahaha, chicken salad which I'm going to con him into helping with. "I'm running out of time, I don't have everything done, I'm stressing out!"
"It's ok honey, just slow down. What can I do to help?" *grin* in my head, "Really honey? You're great, could you cut the grapes and chop some parsley, that would be great help!" Man, I love my husband! All, done with everything at about 10:00 am. When I say everything I mean the foods made, the kid's been fed, the cars packed. 10:20 we're out the door! On our way to Griffin's first photo shoot. Oh, yes, our child is modeling for Ralph Lauren. Just kidding, he was just getting pictures made. When I said I had a timeline I meant it. 11:30, photo session over, Chick-fil-a for lunch and drop me at the church (where Griffin's party was going to be). My help was already there thank goodness. Open the car to unload...insta-broken plate. Oh well, at least it wasn't my cake which is still safe at home! Everyone helps me decoarate the room and party starts at 2:00 on the dot. Griffin is no where to be found. 2:05...2:10...2:15...calling husband. "Where are you? You have the cake!," don't worry about Griffin right! "We're here." Whew, that's a good thing I was nervous about that cake. Well, the party was a success, the cake was a hit, and my hands are still slightly green. So, a total of 6.5 hours of dealing with making the cake and 10 minutes to eat it and I'm a good mother after all.

Should we call it lazy?

Why am I so bad at blogging?

This is the question I have decided to ponder today while I sit at work pretending to do work.

The answer I have come up with is simple...

I'm just plain lazy. But that's not really the reason. The real reason is kids. No, I can't use that excuse either because I have plenty of friends and family who have kids and they blog 1, 2, and sometimes 3 times a day. It's just because I work. Hahaha, who am I kidding. I'm at work, blogging. My real and final conclusion is that my life is just not exciting. Maybe exciting is not even the right word as much as my life is repetitive. One day I work, the next day I have Tucker and Griffin. The next day I work. The next day Tucker and Griffin. Do you see the pattern? And I don't really know who wants to hear about these days of bore. What is exciting to me is really just getting Griffin to take a two hour nap and going through one whole day without puking my previous meal up. Now that's success! However, my other problem with blogging is I'm just not patient enough. As you can see I have added two pictures. But, they're not where I want them and I don't know how to move them. Nor do I know how to add a video or even upload a video if I wanted to. I blame it all on my computer teacher from middle school Mr. Foster. He's the reason I'm scared to click on any button other than save. I fear that if I click on the wrong button not only will I lose the useless information I have just typed up but that I will lose all the information on the entire computer and that the computer will proceed to explode, implode, or somehow self destruct. This is my problem. I have a phobia. Now we should all try to come up with a name to call this phobia even though I'm sure it's out there; I think we could come up with something better. clickaphobia...no that doesn't really do it for me. But, I'm sure you're thinking something funny, either that or you've stopped reading a long time ago and for that I don't blame you. Maybe I should take a class, "How to blog 101," "How to get over your computer fears," "How to manage a simple site without causing a catastrophic disaster." ......Maybe I just need therapy!

Need Sleep!

So, today I'm not blogging, I'm journaling. Griffin has decided he does not like sleep any more. Either that or he just doesn't want me to have any sleep. Either way, no one's sleeping. Last night he woke up at 1:30-ish and was screaming his little head off in a way I have not heard from him before (at least at night). It worried me, so I went upstairs to see if I could give a hand. I picked him up out of his crib and it did not even seem to help in the slightest. Something was up. Usually when I pick him up, he at least tones it down a notch. Not this time. He was hysterical. I started singing and it seemed to help some. I changed his diaper, sang some more, rocked him, rubbed his back, still all the while he's still just a screamin'! Finally, he calmed down, and laid his little head on my shoulder and just listened to me pleading for him to go to sleep. Finally I put him in his crib, which did not make him very happy, told myself he's just going to have to sort this one out of his own, went back to bed and listened to the monitor blaring at me for the next 15 minutes. Until finally silence followed by snoring. It was now about 2:11 AM and I closed my sleepy eyes and drifted back to sleep. But not for long! He was back up at 3:00 AM and then 5:00 AM. Well, when the alarm clock is set for 5:27 AM, at this point I'm thinking I should just give up on the whole idea of sleeping. I'm not sure what's going on with him??!! Growth spurt, teething, sore muscles from all this walking, or bad dreams? I don't know. Everything with kids seems to be a phase. Here today gone tomorrow kind of thing. Well, hopefully this phase won't last long because this pregnant woman is sleepy!

If this is the best I can do

Man, when was the last time I blogged? When I created this silly thing. So much for keeping everyone posted on our lives, right? Well, here's attempt number two, but first let me explain half of my problem...I can't remember our silly url! I get it confused and end up on a site any Christian would be embarrassed to end up at. Maybe I should change the title so the word hooker doesn't appear, because let me tell you, put a period in the wrong place and your Mama will come and slap you for the page that pops up. Anywho!

What's happened with us lately? I will update you on Griffin first. He took his fist steps on Christmas day. Four of them to be exact. It was the best Christmas present ever, not to mention really convenient to remember! He realized he could clap on Chris' Birthday (12/29 for those of you that don't know and want to). Ever since then he's a clappin' fool! He has started to imitate us which means we need to start watching what we say. Everyone knows what potty mouths we have! He's just the best thing ever, minus the fact he thinks it's funny when he keeps me up all night. I'm not really sure I understand. At 7 weeks he started sleeping through the night and now...now...well, he just doesn't! He wakes up and talks, screams, bangs his bed against the wall to the point I'm worried the picture hanging on our wall above our bed will fall and kill me. If anyone has seen my baby pictures they will say he looks just like me, but he has his daddy's smile for sure, gap teeth and all! His laugh will make any Scrooge smile. If I can think of any more G updates I'll write more. But for now, be satisfied!

As for the adult Hookers. We found out a few days before Christmas we are expecting baby number two. "SURPRISE," said God. This wonderful gift has left me feeling sick...constantly. So, I slap a smile on my face and pretend I'm not about to throw up all over you. I'll apologize once it's over. I'm still working for an attorney in the glorious city of Canton. And liking it most of the time. Every job has it's day right? As for Chris, he's busier than EVER! He started paramedic school on January 8th. So, now his schedule is as follows: 24 hours at the fire department, get off at 7:30 am and be at paramedic school by 8:30 am, get out of school at 5:30, come home, help me make dinner (because he's a great cook!), go to bed around 9:30 (because we're so tired), then he wakes up around 7:00 because Griffin loves his daddy and knows when he's home, just to have a day of studying and going to work his second job. Then he wakes up and starts all over. I love him. He is such a trooper! What would this family do without him?

Well, I think that's our life for right now in a nut shell. Hopefully I will update you with more exciting information and sooner than I did last time!