Thursday, April 3, 2008

Bad TP sticks out in my mind!

So, last year for Mother's Day Chris' mom gave me a gift card to Renew Day spa to have a day of pampering. I was able to choose from a list of things what I wanted to have done. And since I'm pregnant that list got shorter because you're not allowed to do certain things as a preg. So, I ended up getting a massage and a facial yesterday (since my wonderful husband made the appointment for me, knowing I would never get to it). A little late I know, but the gift card expired next month and better late than never right? So, before I went to do that, my friend Jessica cut/colored my hair for me. (For those of you that don't remember I tried to go dark and still like being blonde better) She did a fabulous job. I left her house looking beautfil, went home, grabbed some lunch, and was off to my pamper appointment. I got there and signed in, waited a little bit, then they called me back to a changing room where they supply you with a rob, a wrap, and slippers. So COMFY!!! Then they escort you to another room for you to "relax" for a minute. When really, they're just making you wait some more. So in this room, there is a water fountain constantly flowing, making this Preg have to go pee pee on the potty, and there is also a wind chime that has a fan that turns on periodically to make the wind chimes chime. The chiming is not so relaxing but it's a good try! Finally, after listening to the river flowing and the chiming someone comes to get me. MASSAGE TIME!!!!!! The massage was great...for the most part. I am however bruised in three places where I guess she felt needed attention (I would consider this deep tissue which I didn't think they were supposed to do knowing I was preg?!). OUCH! But overall satisfying! Then they take me back to the "relaxing room" and I wait, not sure if I'm supposed to just sit there or not. Then another lady comes...FACIAL TIME!!!! I just now started thinking to myself..."This might not be quite as relaxing as I thought. What exactly is involved with getting a facial?" Oh dear, the room looks like a dentist office. Fear comes over me and thoughts of the relaxing room have left my mind. This does not look relaxing in the slightest, what have I signed up for here? So, I lay there...more waiting. Then she talks over with me the process, "It will be slightly uncomfortable but not hurting," she explained with her Polish accent. Now, when you here "slightly uncomfortable" what does that make you think of? Squirmy. That's what it makes me think. Enough to make you squirm but not enough to make you scream. First she put this "exfoliator" on my face, but it didn't have the little beady things in it. She put it on my face and turned on this steamer that blows steam onto your face. "It is going to start to tingle, you feel the tingly?" again in her Polish accent. "Oh, yeah, I feel the tingle." TINGLE?!?! More like BURNING! YOWZA! Then she took it off and put a warm wet cloth over my face...relief! Then, the real pain. She removes the towel, puts something cool over my eyes, turns on a light from heaven (so bright I wouldn't even imagine opening my lids!), and starts pinching and scraping and squeezing. Inside I'm screaming. It's making my eyes water (luckily I still have whatever it is she put over my eyes). Done with the torture and again with relief. She rubs some kind of moisturizer over my face which smell delightful! Then the mask. Which was interestingly awesome! Somewhere in there she gave me a hand massage, I think it was when I was feeling the burning which is why I wasn't so focused on the massage. So, in the skin feels smooth. She starts walking me back to my room and ask if I need to use the restroom. I'm pregnant, what do you think? Yes! So fancy with the custom paper towels to dry your hands. I'm so impressed with this place. But then, the toilet paper. What's with the toilet paper?! It is worse than the kind you would find in the McDonalds bathroom! Here I am, at some expensive spa, and they have worse than McDonalds toilet paper. You would think that they would worry about my bottom relaxing as well as the rest of me. But no, they obviously forgot about the all important, most crucial thing...good toilet paper.


The Fokens said...

Too funny! Landon and Chris must have shared ideas last year b/c I got a certificate for Renew too & I still haven't used it!! We should have gone together. OR would that have been too wierd!! I enjoyed reading all about the experience and it has given me inspiration to make the appointment before next month!

Alan and Brandi said...

Katie, you are hilarious! I have to agree with you on "relaxing." Its hard to do when you don't know what to expect. I just barely got my first pedicure (amazing, I know)and I was stressed out because I didn't know what to do and the Asian woman was not speaking clearly at all. I think I said, "What?" like four hundred and thirty-six times.

Mommy and Grif

Mommy and Grif
At the Puerto Rican Fest!

Bath Time!

Bath Time!
Griffin Loves the bath!